Don't Be an Accidental Jerk While Networking

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Thom Singer

Thom Singer is a professional speaker and known as "The Conference Catalyst"

While attending a large industry trade show, I had the pleasure of being in the audience to watch a nationally respected keynote speaker. I have long admired this professional and following her presentation, during the networking break, I approached to compliment her on a great talk (as a professional speaker myself, I know a fantastic performance when I see one!).

She was in a conversation with two other people near the cookies and coffee. I politely stood back a few feet waiting for a break, which did not come. One of the people in the discussion started to say something and then noticed me. He politely stopped and smiled. 

The speaker looked toward me and said “This is a private conversation.   can talk with you at another break, but this an important matter” and turned her back on me, returning her attention to the others.

Although a little put-off, I politely said “I just wanted to say ‘Nice job on stage’, I will catch up with you later” to her cold shoulder.

The situation reminded me of a similar encounter a few months earlier where I witnessed another person holding a “private” conversation during a public networking break and then being annoyed when others came too close. This person had a similar response, and seeing it happen twice made me think about how people accidently behave poorly sometimes. It can sour their reputation, damages relationships,and leaves others with hurt feelings. 

Nobody intends to come off like a jerk at a networking event, but it is easy to be caught up in our own world and dismiss people without realizing it.   

Trade shows and conferences are great places to meet new prospects and catch up with clients, but whenever you are at a public function you must be aware of how you are treating others. A networking event by definition is a time for people to approach. You need to be open to the advances of others, especially if you are the speaker or other VIP, as many will want to come and shake your hand. Scheduled breaks and gatherings are not the field for exclusive intimate dialogues.

While this woman’s attitude offended me, it was the response from others who had overheard the exchange that was most interesting. Several conference attendees, who were also nearby waiting to talk to her after the presentation, were within ear-shot and approached me about what they had heard. One was a meeting planner who was thinking of hiring this speaker for another conference, but was suddenly concerned she might be “high maintenance”. 

You never know who is watching or listening, so you must be careful in how you behave towards others ... especially while attending events. If you need to have a private conversation, schedule it in advance to meet at a secluded location. When such a need comes up spontaneously suggest to your conversation partners that you leave the main networking area and find a more private place to chat. Going only a few yards away from the main location will send a message to others that you are temporarily engaged. If someone does approach you can politely point out that you will be back to the main networking area soon.

A main reason people attend industry events is for the “networking”, so you should never be surprised when people say hello. Don’t ever be a jerk, even by accident, or it will forever be your brand.

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com